One for the Money

Now that the movie One for the Money is fixin' to be released I wanted to share my adoration for the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich. A friend of mine turned me on to the series a few years ago. At the time there were 12 books. I read them all in a week.

Do you like mystery?
Do you like romance?
Do you like sexy characters?
Do you like to Laugh out Loud?

Let me give you a little info on the series.

Stephanie is a Jersey girl, newly divorced and newly fired from her job. When the bank starts stalking her to repossess her car she takes things into her own hands. She threatens her cousin Vinny to give her a job at his bail bonds office. She becomes a bounty hunter.. and not a very good one. One of her first skips is a guy named Jospeh Morelli, who happens to be the man who sexually assaulted her as a kid, stole her virginity and told everyone about it as a teenager and the guy who may or may not have jumped in from of Stephanies car while she was driving on the sidewalk towards him. Basically they have history. He is now a cop who has skipped bail on murder charges. Armed with handcuffs and hairspray she goes after him. She has miraculously good luck. She always finds the "perp". Apprehending them is another story. Along the way Stephanie aquires two side kicks. Her Granny, who carries a short barreled shot gun in her pocket book while attending her favorite events.. Funerals. And a chuncky prostitute named Lula, who she met while working on a case. Besides from having a hard time getting the bad guys to jail she also has a nasty habit of blowing up vehicles. Stephanie is always ticking someone off and the way they handle things in Trenton is to blow up cars.

I'll stop here because I don't want to give any major details of the series away. But if you aren't hooked then you must not like to read!

I have been waiting for the movie to come out forever! Katherine Heigl is playing Stephanie and I think she will be perfect!

Go get the book/download it on your nook or kindle today! You can thank me later!

Manic Monday..

Hate Mondays?

Gripe & Complain Publicly.

It makes you feel better.

Link up.

 

Dreaded Monday again. Why Must it come every single week? I definitely have a case of the Mondays today... OK... I had them yesterday too.>> is that weird?

1. First of all I have a cold. Again. I tried to ignore the first signs of it last week. Itchy throat, watery eyes, stuffy nose ext. However it reared its ugly head on Saturday and I feel terrible!

2. I slept terribly last night. Here's why: I have a problem sleeping when my house smells like food. IDK why but it gives me weird dreams about food and I constantly wake up worried that something is burning. Been that way since I was a little kid. (Needless to say Thanksgiving night sucks for me) Well my room smells like chili. That's right I said chili. Yesterday while being miserably sick at home (alone) I made myself a bowl of left over chili. I was laying in bed fixin' to eat the chili when I decided I wanted my book. I was balancing the chili bowl on my lap top. So I carefully reach over to grab my book and all of a sudden all hell breaks loose. My bowl slides off the laptop and crashes to the floor. Not only does it splatter everywhere within a 5 foot radius the spoon flies catapults across the room splattering chili on the walls, ceiling and all the way to the bathroom floor as well. While trying to keep my pom Maggie from eating it all up, I just sit on the floor in the chili and have a good cry. I literally wanted to set my house on fire. That would have been easier to deal with than this mess. It took me 2 hours to clean the carpet. It still has a Rorange (red-orange) glow. And the entire room wreaks of chili.

Go ahead and laugh.

3. Yet again I have a client wait until the last minute to cancel their appointment. HELLO if you are too lazy to get your butt to the salon on Monday morning what makes you think I want to? At least give a girl some warning so I can sleep in!
!Rude!


4. Found out this weekend that none of our friends can join us for the midnight release of Breaking Dawn. It is a tradition for ALL of our friends to get together the day before it is released and watch the previous film while we make our husbands/boyfriends their fan t-shirts. You see the men hated going to the first movie. They vowed they would not go again unless that had a cool t-shirt and booze. Ever since then its been a ritual. We make the shirts a day or two before the big night, eat at our favorite Mexican joint Fajita Grill for a late dinner and then we head to the theater. The girls go inside and fight for good seats while the boys wait outside and drink Joose (or as they pronounce it JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE). Basically a rockstar with alcohol. AKA recipe for disaster.

When they finally come inside all decked out in their outfits and glitter (yes glitter. They like to cause a scene. Sometimes they bump into people on purpose and say "I'm sorry if I dazzle you") they annoy the crap out of their wives/girlfriends. Before the movie starts they run from theater to theater asking if the real slim shady will please stand up and starting extremely heated arguments over who is Team Edward and who is Team Jacob. Last year while standing in the hour long line to get popcorn, as I was paying... my stupid husband starts yelling my name and telling me not to buy anything because he "Had it covered". What did he mean you may ask? Oh he just went dumpster diving for a popcorn tub and had them refill it. GROSS!!! Anyways, Yes they embarrass us and yes we swear we will  never take them again but now that not a single one of our friends can go this year I am deeply depressed. I would just go with just me and Patrick but I know it wont be as fun. So I will have to be like the other 139487238947239874238947298734 other people in the world and watch it Friday evening. Sigh..

Some of their shirts from the previous midnight shows..



So what is making your Monday Manic?

Being Southern is a state of mind?

Warning: This post is completely random and kinda cheesy. 

I watched Sweet Home Alabama (one of my favorite movies) last night with my cousin Stacy.  Can you believe she had never seen it?!?! Anyways the movie made us laugh hysterically (as usual) and got me to thinking about Southern Sayings. The movie is full of hilarious sayings that probably no one but us southerners understand. So I did a little googling and found a whole bunch of funny little things. I have put a * next to my favorites or the ones I use the most.

AH-ITE (adverb, adjective, or maybe even an interjection). An affirmation; to be in a state of okay-ness; or a request for someone to stop pestering you.
JEET (interrogatory). An inquiry of if someone is hungry.
*Ain't; another way of saying you are not going to do something.
Bless your heart;phrase used by Southern women to excuse themselves for speaking ill of someone else. an expression of sympathy or pity.
Do go on. (you must be joking)
*Don't bite off more than you can chew. (attempt what you can accomplish)
Don't count your chickens until they hatch. (first know the results)
*Fly off the handle. (angry and lashing out)
Get the short end of the stick. (not invited and treated wrong)
Go to bed with the chickens. (in bed early)
Gone back on your raisin. (deny heritage)
Got your feathers ruffled. (upset and pouting)
*Holler if ya need something; yell if you need anything
I do declare. (usually means nothing)
*In high cotton. (rising up in society)
In a coon's age. (been a long time)
Knee high to a grass hopper. very short
Like a bump on a log. (lazy and doing nothing)
*Like two peas in a pod. (act and think alike)
Mend fences. (settle differences)
I use this one all of the time->***The pot calling the kettle black. an idiom used to accuse a person of being guilty of the very thing of which they accuse another. This may or may not be hypocritical or a contradiction.
*Sight for sore eyes. (Nice to you!)
So good, it makes me wanna slap your mama.-something incredibly good.
Stomping grounds. (familiar territory)
*That takes the cake. (surprised)
Too big for one's britches. (someone taking themself too seriously)
*Well, shut my mouth. (shocked and speechless)
AIM TO- plan to do
AIRISH- cold
*CARRY ON- to carry on foolishness
CLODHOPPER- heavy work shoes or large shoes
CHUNK- throw, toss
*'COON- Raccoon.
COW LICK- hair standing out on one's head.
DIRECTLY- in a little while, or a couple of weeks
DIXIE- Southern States of the U.S.A
*DO-HICKY- substitute name. Like the terms whata-ma-call-it or thinga-ma-jig
FALLING OUT- disagreement
*FEISTY- being frisky
**FIXIN TO- about to
HEY- hello
*HOLD YOUR HORSES- (be patient)
*HONEY- affectionate term
LAID UP- ill, hurt, unable to work
MESS-one who carries on, "He's a mess."
MUCH OBLIGED- thank you; hope to return the favor
PIDDLE- waste time, doing nothing
PLAYING POSSUM- playing dead
RECKON- think or supose so.
SHINDIG- dance or celebration
SMOKEHOUSE- Shed with a dirt floor where pork and other meats is cured, and then smoked.
*SORRY- inferior quality, worthless, and lazy
SOUTHERN BELLE- Southern lady
SPRING CHICKEN- young thing
SWEET TALKING THING- has a good line
TIGHT- stingy with money
WAIT ON- serve or assist
WHITE LIGHTNING- moonshine whiskey
WORRY-WART- one who is annoying
*YA'LL or Y'ALL (can be spelled both ways)- you all, two or more people
YONDER- an unspecified distance:Only someone from the country knows exactly how far it is "from here to yonder"
WOO DOGGIE- something you would say when you are overly excited.

Whats so funny is some of these I've heard so regularly that I had no idea they were just used in the south. I guess I just assumed everyone said them. (But you know what assuming does.. It makes an ass out of you and me.) I guess I can't really blame people for saying you need a passport to come down here.. We do have a very odd way of puttin' things! HA!
I am sure I am missing some so feel free to add your input!

Y'all come back now.. Ya hear? ;)